Hello,
Sorry for the very long venting out post but I'm desperate for help and hoping to find some sort of relieve on this forum.
I'm a 38 year old male. I'm kind of a gym rat. I've been going to the gym 3-4 times a week since I was 15 years old. I run approx 9 miles every week and lift weight including body weight exercises. My height is 5 foot 10 and I weigh 175 pounds. So I'm not puffed up with muscles like body builders. I'm very lean with very low to zero body fat. In short, I don't have weight issues (neither excess fat nor excess muscles). However, Iv been suffering from severe insomnia for over 5 years now.
My insomnia has taken on many forms:
-50% of the time I would fall asleep immediately but then wake up after 3-4 hours and then cant fall asleep again and just power thru the day.
-20% of the time I would fall asleep immediately but then wake up after 6 hours of sleep feeling very exhausted and un-refreshed but still cant sleep again.
-15% of the time I would go to bed at around 11pm but then cant fall asleep till 4 or 5am. Once I fall asleep I would wake up without an alarm after only 3-4 hours.
-15% I would fall asleep immediately, wake up perhaps once to pee but then am able to fall asleep again and total about 7 and half hours of sleep. Once I wake up I feel like absolutely great. Well rested and refreshed.
I underwent two sleep studies in which the results were that I have mild sleep apnea. Of course, like many insomnia patients I barely got 3-4 hours of sleep during both tests and had to take ambien to fall asleep which doctors say amplify apnea symptoms so I have little faith in the results to begin with.
I tried using CPAP many times (perhaps on 60+ nights) with no avail. I would just lay in bed with the cpap on for hours without being able to fall asleep. I tried it over many years with different masks and cpap devices. I just cant fall asleep. Having a mask on my face doesnt bother me. I actually feel that Im breathing better with it but I just simply cant fall asleep with it on. Sometimes I would fall asleep for a few minutes but would wake up again and not be able to fall asleep again the entire night. I also tried the mouth appliance with the same result. Just lying in bed for hours without being able to fall asleep. What makes this worst is that if I try the CPAP lets say for an hour or two but then decide to give up and take it off its already too late because at that point Im so wound up and frustrated that I cant fall asleep again that entire night. So deciding to put on the CPAP is becoming a decision of: do I try the cpap again which has a 100% chance of me not sleeping tonight or do I not use it and gamble with the sleep chances I listed above.
Oh, and I also went thru sleep therapy treatments twice with two different doctors at Stanford sleep clinic (supposedly a good brand) also with no avail. I maintain a good "sleep hygiene" like not napping during the day, not drinking alcohol at night, using the bed for sleep only, not exercising after 6pm, not using my phone or computer at night ...etc. In fact starting 8 pm I start to wind down my day by being home on my sofa just watching dumb tv: i.e no news, no movies, just light stuff like cooking shows, HGTV, animal documentaries ...etc
Despite the sleep test results I have doubts whether sleep apnea is really the culprit behind my sleep problems. Most articles online about sleep apnea report that apnea patients are not even aware they have a problem to begin with. This means they can go their entire life sleeping 7+ hours every night. They discover they have apnea either because their partners complain about the loud snoring, or because they feel sleepy and un-rested during the day.
Obviously this is not my case. My wife never complained about my snoring. Maybe that's because she is a very good sleeper so I started using a snoring i-phone app to record my snoring and it reported low to mild snoring volume and duration and ranked me in the bottom 30% of those that used the app (i.e. 70% of people that used this app snore louder and longer than me). Furthermore, my snoring is usually only in the first 2 hours or so of falling asleep but then dies out afterwards. Around the time I wake up at 3-4 am there is almost very little to no snoring.
If indeed I do have sleep apnea why is that on the 15% or so nights that I am able to get 7+ hours of sleep I wake up feeling ABSOLUTELY great and 100% refreshed. Shouldn't I feel un-rested and tired even if I slept for 7+ hours like other apena patients?
If indeed indeed it is sleep apnea that is waking me up in the middle of the night why is it that I cant fall back to sleep again afterwards. I get it that Apnea can wake you up cause you cant breath but does it also prevent you from from falling back to sleep again and make you sit in bed for hours wide awake?
Again, sorry for the long post but it's Saturday morning and I only had 3 and half hours of sleep last night despite it being a weekend so feeling very frustrated and agitated. Appreciate any advice or commentary even if it is just to make me feel that Im not alone with this.
Thanks
