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soconfused

soconfused
Joined Jun 2020
soconfused
Joined Jun 2020

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Haven’t had a good night’s rest in five years, but never experienced what I’ve been experiencing in the past few months. Six months ago I started waking up gasping and screaming in the middle of the night with a sense of utter doom and fear that I have never experienced before.

I live alone and the first time it happened I was sure I was dying. Or that a murderer was in my house or something. It was a very traumatizing experience. It happened again a month later, then more frequently. Now it has been happening two-three times a week. I’m scared to sleep now because the fear is so intense, I cower under my covers shaking when it happens. Just utter adrenaline running through my body. I also have terrible night sweats almost every single night, for the past 4-5 years. Not sure if they are related.

I searched around the web and think maybe I have sleep apnea. I don’t snore - not that I know of at least. I’m so confused and frightened that sometimes I’m scared to sleep. My home doctor retired last year so I don’t have one at the moment. This is really messing with me.

Things about me:

I am physically very fit, run/go to gym about 4-5 times a week Embarrassed and ashamed to admit: Have a cocaine habit (3-4 Days a week, started a year ago, alcohol the same) I sleep on my side or stomach 29 years old, female Occasional smoker Otherwise very healthy Very vivid dreams Falling asleep during day, can’t keep eyes open, eyes droop - but not actually sleeping . I cannot nap Wake up countless times during night Very light sleeper

I will Be calling my hopefully soon to be new family doctor tomorrow to inquire but I don’t know if he will be taking new patients because of covid . How do I deal with this in the interim. I’m sure my drug use has something to do with it?

Okay, stop drugs. Any other tips?? (Please no bashing about the drugs I am trying to work on it).

This happens on nights when I’m doing drugs and on sober nights. Every night I struggle sleeping. but I have noticed that I have episodes usually the second day after a big binge (my binges last two days no sleep - again, I know that is completely fucked up so please be kind).

I just want a good night’s rest. One where I can sleep through the night. I slept at my moms last weekend and had an episode and she got very scared. She said I yelled as if I had been attacked. I am a restless sleeper as well (constant tossing and turning). Next time I sleep over at her place I’ll ask her if she notices any breathing disruptions while I’m sleeping. Just been kinda embarrassed to talk about it.

Had to let this out somewhere and wanted to see if anyone has experienced this. It’s so scary.