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Biguglygremlin

Biguglygremlin
Joined Nov 2018
Bio

Male aged 60+

Overweight

Very Severe Apnea

CPAP user since June 2014

Airsense 10

Pressure <12>

Nasal Pillow

Airfit P30

RLS PLMD PTSD CFS RBD

Australia

Biguglygremlin
Joined Nov 2018
Bio

Male aged 60+

Overweight

Very Severe Apnea

CPAP user since June 2014

Airsense 10

Pressure <12>

Nasal Pillow

Airfit P30

RLS PLMD PTSD CFS RBD

Australia

You all know how much I love my CPAP right?

Well, this looks like just too good an opportunity to implicate it in yet another crime.

Based entirely, of course, on scientific data and conclusive research! (Or blind prejudice and guesswork.)

I supposedly had diverticulitis for the first time several months ago and it nearly put me in hospital and even Metamucil, despite it's universally restorative powers, was barely able to save me.

So it would suit me just fine to be able to blame my CPAP!

Now let's look at the hard evidence.

Normal people, that's people who are not condemned to using CPAP machines, are permitted, even encouraged, to move around freely and unencumbered during their sleep.

While us CPAP victims are shackled to that noisy machine lurking on the bedside table and pinioned by our mask and hose and constricted by a plethora of straps and clips and weighed down by a perpetual awareness of bondage and restraint aggressively enforced by things that hiss at us if we dare to move the wrong way thereby increasing the risk of diverticulitis.

Obviously, my CPAP could be implicated just on that basis alone.

But wait! There's more!

My CPAP spends the entire night enacting an evil plot to turn me into a balloon by pumping air down into the digestive system!

Air that causes discomfort and escalating tension and pain!

Air that causes frequent disruptions in the digestive processes!

Air that invokes pain, causing the digestive system to constrict, once again increasing the risk of diverticulitis.

My Cpap is looking more guilty by the minute!

So what, you say!

Lots of foods cause flatulence.

Did I mention AIR?

Air, containing oxygen.

Oxygen is quite a different thing from methane or whatever other gasses are produced naturally during digestion.

Oxygen is not supposed to be in the digestive system in such vast quantities.

Oxygen feeds the wrong monsters, starts the wrong processes, multiplying and escalating significant risk factors, including diverticulitis.

So, in conclusion, I don't think we can blame the butler when all the evidence points clearly to my CPAP!

Now, where did I put that reference article?

Yes, it's not much to ask really.

But it can be a little confusing.

Just the simple things that seem so easy.

Like, which day should I do it?

Can I still do it the next day if I forget or is that too late?

What time of day is it supposed to happen?

Is 12:00 o'clock midnight pm or am?

How do I change the time on this stupid device?

Where did I leave the manual?

Do I change it forwards or backward?

What does that even mean?

What other devices have clocks?

Should I check on the appliances?

What about the fridge?

Does anyone remember how to reset this microwave?

I nearly forgot the air conditioner!

Do these earbuds know what time it is?

And that stupid alarm system!

I seem to remember installing some powerpoint timers somewhere.

Do any of my tools know the time?

How about the cars?

Could someone please help me find the garden sprinkler manual?

Did I forget anything?

Oh, there are some things at work!

Surely they can wait till Monday!

Did I leave something in a locker somewhere?

How about the devices on loan to family or friends?

Should I chase them down and reset them too?

What about my poor CPAP?

How do I access the menu again?

Didn't someone mumble that this would stuff up my CPAP data?

Should I risk changing it or shouldn't I? :(

Do I have to dig out the spare CPAP and reset that as well?

I don't remember how to change the time on this stupid thing!

Now, where did I put that manual?

How many things already know about daylight saving?

How will I know if they know?

Did they require permission?

How do I know if I gave them permission?

Why is the sun in the wrong place?

Why has MilkyWhite stopped milking?

Where's all this stress and anxiety coming from?

And now the vacuum cleaner's gone feral.

And the coffee machine's on strike!

And the sprinklers are having a revolution in the backyard!

I duck out for a coffee but I'm distracted because the car clock is flashing.

And there are so many confused pedestrians wandering all over the road!

Well, there were until I ran into them.

Because I was tired and distracted and worrying about my CPAP and poor MilkyWhite!

Anyway, after a very stressful day it's finally all sorted.

I can ignore the vacuum cleaner endlessly bumping into the china cabinet and pretend the sprinklers aren't still drowning the lettuces and snuggle up with my glitching CPAP for a good night's sleep, dreaming of Milkywhite in happier times.

Then, first thing Monday morning, everybody turns up two hours early for work!

But no. They're not early, I'm two hours late! How did that happen?

Wait!

Don't tell me I set those clocks wrong!

Do I really have to do this all over again? :(

What's this pain in my chest?

It's probably just indigestion from these messed-up mealtimes.

Nothing a warm cup of milk won't fix .............................

You're right Sierra!

I don't know why people make such a big deal out of it.

We really should do daylight saving more often!

But let's wait till we all have an Airsense 11 and milk in the fridge! :)

Adjusting to Daylight Savings